Archive for July, 2017

Her little pieces

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

She finds it hard to keep looking straight ahead for how her eyes involuntarily follow the pieces of her she keeps losing along the way. Every time she absentmindedly loses another piece, her entire being continues obsessing over how she never even realized it was in possession. It takes her too long to stop reminiscing over all what that piece’s existence meant to her for how very little she appreciated it while it lasted. Yet, when she’s finally able to, she turns back around right as she parts with another lost piece she still hadn’t had the chance to closely enjoy, and the story never finds an end.

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Wrong answers

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

She disliked having to answer their questions, for she realized she was way too certain about the answers that it made no sense to anyone but her. She would so easily spot those very clear answers whenever her eyes wandered around, but every time someone attempted to get a tiny glimpse, she would still let them walk away with all the wrong ones. And that, that just made so much sense.

July 26, 2017

Would you rather?

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

It’s true you don’t completely realize what you have until you lose it, but sometimes you don’t realize what’s missing until you actually have it and that’s when it all gets confusing. Because, would you rather really put that much effort into going after something you might or might not end up realizing you were in need of, or would you just continue living in contentment with what you already have because you know you won’t afford having more of the things you’re unable to live without?

July 24, 2017

Perspective (2)

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

And so it turns out that “achievements” have in fact very little to do with how well you do on things, and more with how much effort you actually put into trying to do them well. Yet, you still tend to beat yourself up every time the tiny details don’t end up matching how things were supposed to happen inside your head, when you’ve totally poured your heart into getting them to happen in the first place. Not realizing that that’s literally all that matters. Not realizing that the details of every struggle and every failing attempt are more often than not a lot more beautiful than what you think should’ve ended up happening instead. So here’s a note to my-very-doubtful-self: stop obsessing this hard over end results when you’re already blessed with entire journeys to enjoy, and appreciate every new piece of you that they’ll always help you find.

July 22, 2017

Can you?

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

You can’t wait for someone to try opening the door when you’re deliberately changing the locks every time someone spots a key. You can’t continue to let your windows merely reveal the blacks and whites when you keep finding out everyone’s made up of entirely different colors. And you can never really put yourself in someone’s shoes when you’re almost always forgetting to take yours off.

July 18, 2017

Death

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

The things we know for a fact are doomed to happen, yet barely acknowledge their existence among our worldly concerns. Like death. It’s there, it literally happens everyday, but we still act like life isn’t short and that everyone around is meant to stay. I used to think I was getting immune to death news, for how often I got to hear about them over the years. Yet, with every time I know about someone losing a loved one, my mind still goes blank. I never know what to say. Sorry for your loss, I know you might not be able to sleep well through the night anymore? Does the hole that continues to grow inside your heart still hurt as we speak? Can I do anything for you that would stop your tear ducts from drying up every time you’re alone? And the worst part about it is when it turns into the elephant in the room. I don’t know how people who experience it continue to survive and function as normal human beings, while just knowing about it completely messes me up this way.

July 15, 2017

The things we never show

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

Every time I turn to the last page of a story, I can’t help but wonder if the characters I’m parting with do exist around in the real world, while no one knows. I wonder how many broken hearts walk around everyday, with their constant attempts to bring themselves together fooling everyone they see. I wonder how many hearts have lost their loved ones, and how many of them continue to see those faces every time their eyelids meet. I wonder how many hearts have been separated by distance, while they continue to pretend it doesn’t rip them in pieces every second of their day. I wonder how many hearts are caged behind insanely high walls they’ve had to build between them and the world after every heartbreak.

Most importantly, I wonder how we never know anything about that, yet continue to create our own scenarios of who we think everyone is on the inside, everyday. Or how we rarely allow ourselves to empathize with people, up until we get to hear their real stories one day. Yet we hardly get the chance to do that with everyone we meet, and it rarely crosses our minds how much everyone around might in fact be able to conceal.

July 14, 2017