Things we never talk about

Posted: August 7, 2017 in Uncategorized

The words I never said. The words I said but never meant. The words I meant but never had them phrased well. The words I tried to phrase but never had those they’re meant for correctly interpret them. The meanings they understood but never had me know about. The scenarios we both knew we made up yet consciously chose to have them make sense. All the little things that take up what’s left of our brain space, but we still never have the guts to speak them out.

Nothing you can’t take

Posted: August 5, 2017 in Uncategorized

So it turns out you never really know how much you can take, unless you’re literally forced into staying strong through certain days. Sometimes it comes as a surprise, even to your own self, and you watch in awe as a new version of yourself starts emerging along with what you’re unexpectedly enduring. It surprises you because, out of all people, you’re the one who remembers how much it hurt when you used to cry yourself to sleep just a few years back, over much simpler issues. Issues that you only wish could have lasted – now that you’ve seen worse. But you only happen to look back at them with ease later for they’re what made you this strong; they’re what made life realize you’re ready to take in more of what it never gets enough of throwing right at your face. This is when you really need to be proud of yourself, more than ever. Because no matter how tough things will always turn out to be, you’ll always find it in you to make it through them. Because لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها (Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear), and if that’s not comforting enough, I don’t know what is.

Her little pieces

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

She finds it hard to keep looking straight ahead for how her eyes involuntarily follow the pieces of her she keeps losing along the way. Every time she absentmindedly loses another piece, her entire being continues obsessing over how she never even realized it was in possession. It takes her too long to stop reminiscing over all what that piece’s existence meant to her for how very little she appreciated it while it lasted. Yet, when she’s finally able to, she turns back around right as she parts with another lost piece she still hadn’t had the chance to closely enjoy, and the story never finds an end.

Wrong answers

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

She disliked having to answer their questions, for she realized she was way too certain about the answers that it made no sense to anyone but her. She would so easily spot those very clear answers whenever her eyes wandered around, but every time someone attempted to get a tiny glimpse, she would still let them walk away with all the wrong ones. And that, that just made so much sense.

July 26, 2017

Would you rather?

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

It’s true you don’t completely realize what you have until you lose it, but sometimes you don’t realize what’s missing until you actually have it and that’s when it all gets confusing. Because, would you rather really put that much effort into going after something you might or might not end up realizing you were in need of, or would you just continue living in contentment with what you already have because you know you won’t afford having more of the things you’re unable to live without?

July 24, 2017

Perspective (2)

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

And so it turns out that “achievements” have in fact very little to do with how well you do on things, and more with how much effort you actually put into trying to do them well. Yet, you still tend to beat yourself up every time the tiny details don’t end up matching how things were supposed to happen inside your head, when you’ve totally poured your heart into getting them to happen in the first place. Not realizing that that’s literally all that matters. Not realizing that the details of every struggle and every failing attempt are more often than not a lot more beautiful than what you think should’ve ended up happening instead. So here’s a note to my-very-doubtful-self: stop obsessing this hard over end results when you’re already blessed with entire journeys to enjoy, and appreciate every new piece of you that they’ll always help you find.

July 22, 2017

Can you?

Posted: July 28, 2017 in Uncategorized

You can’t wait for someone to try opening the door when you’re deliberately changing the locks every time someone spots a key. You can’t continue to let your windows merely reveal the blacks and whites when you keep finding out everyone’s made up of entirely different colors. And you can never really put yourself in someone’s shoes when you’re almost always forgetting to take yours off.

July 18, 2017